Women Are Wired Differently

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am feeling pretty good all things considered. Actually I feel as good as new. I want to thank all my visitors and family who were a big help to me and Janet. Marcia cooked some good meals and Richard brought Janet a car to the hospital and did who knows what else. Oh yeah and Caleb saved a house plant. And I woke up one afternoon and my sister Melanie was baby sitting so Janet could go do something. And then when I got discharged on Wednesday, my brother-in-law Terry was out mowing my grass-sweet. Of course, I felt totally useless. Thanks to all for everything.

Did I mention that women are wired differently? I think there was a book one time about them being from Venus or something. I don't know about that but there is just no way that men and women share as much DNA as people claim. I was reminded about this when my sister Martha calls Janet, while Terry is mowing and says she is sending a cleaning service over to our house. Janet got off the phone all excited and in a dither. Me, I am just sitting there thinking, hmm I would have never thought about that-probably most guys wouldn't think about that. I mean, I get the heart attack and Janet gets the house cleaned-perfect connection. Anyway, Janet thinks that is really cool. And I'm thinking, well maybe the cleaning crew will turn up the missing TV remote.

So a week passes and Wednesday night Martha calls and says the cleaners will be there Thursday morning. Bam, Janet drops everything, including fixing my supper and shouts, "We have to get ready for the cleaners." So she starts giving me instructions about dusting and running the vacuum and yadda yadda yadda before I stop her and remind her that the doctor said no activity, especially no vacuuming. Gotcha! Janet didn't have a come back for that and I quickly escaped to the couch-still looking for that remote. That's when I fully realized the wiring thing. I mean, who cleans up the house before the cleaning people come. Me, I'm thinking I probably need to throw down some more dirty socks and underwear. Janet, well, she is scurrying around cleaning up in advance of the cleaners. Makes no sense to me. Let's get all cleaned up before the cleaning peopel get here. That way they can lightly dust and have a latte on us!

Well, they came yesterday and I must admit, the house looked good. I couldn't leave a love note on the mantle in the dust any longer. I remembered the color of the kitchen counter tops now that I could see them again. I went upstairs and the end of the toilet paper roll was folded down neatly and it had a little Easter bunny sticker on it holding down the loose end. Right there, I said dang, they ironed the toilet paper. I felt compelled at that moment to sit down and use it-I mean to be the first to mess with the bunny sticker-doesn't get any better than that. The bed was all made, with a fancy arrangement of pillows and it had red satin sheets on it and everything, and I got to thinking about later on and those nice new sheets and then a mental image of Janet appears, shaking her head-"You know the doctor said no exercise and no fooling around....". In other words, fuhgidaboutit.

Well, all over the house, things looked really nice. Thanks Martha. Still didn't find the remote. So I asked Janet, "Where did everything go, it looks so clean?" (Here we go on the wiring thing again.) "Oh, I piled up several baskets of stuff and shoved them in Elliot's room." So I guess beauty is only skin deep at times. Anyway, everything looks good and those new red satin sheets slept well, now if I could only ...